the stress test

oy. so much for getting back to writing everyday!

oh well, i do try.
anyway, i've now felt either stressed, tired, or dysthymic now for about 3 weeks. yikes. i actually didn't think it was 3 weeks long--but my husband told me he had been keeping track. (a whole other issue is why he didn't clue me in on this after a few days of it.....he's patient!)
i think anyone that works with people who've experienced significant trauma know how secondary trauma can affect the practitioner. being new to this field, however, it is not always easy for me to recognize when this is happening. AND, my poor husband and friends, not being in this field, have not a clue why i sometimes just get to feeling down.

it all comes back to self-care.....which is fitness for me. it's no coincidence that i embarked on some serious weight training after starting this job. i just got out of grad school, passed my licensure exam, and now.....feeling what it's like to be a counselor to refugee children full time. it's hard. i've wanted to do a blog for a long time about global crises, humanitarian aid and disasters, and trauma. until i get my stuff together though (meaning, get used to taking good care of myself first), i won't be doing that blog. this one is part of my self-care plan.

so, back to it. fitness. it's been a pretty good week. in a weird way, it was the first time i felt like the workouts were getting....not easy, but not impossible. up until this week, the workouts felt just about impossible. this week, i struggled to do that half crow push-ups, but like the scorpion ones week prior, i did as many good ones as i could. it's always ok when you do your best.

tomorrow is kickboxing AND i hope to write a better update about the week and my fitness gains. this week has started to feel like a turning point and i need to document it. like---hello! i can do 6 unassisted dips in the middle of a workout. i wonder how many i can do when i'm not tired now. perhaps i will need to implement the fitness test like in my college days......i'm sensing a midterm coming up.